Sunday, March 12, 2017

But Mom...

For Rebecca and the many other amazing nurses at the SGHS Brunswick Campus.

The little well of words at this blog over here dried up long ago, but recently, in my mind's eye, I saw a tiny spring break open the dry ground. Perhaps the trickle I saw was preparation for sharing in such a time as this.

For some time now my mama hasn't felt right. She knew it, but every doctor and negative test made her wonder if she was just going crazy. Finally, the pain drove her for more tests and by February one test showed a gallbladder issue and an unidentified growth. Mysterious growths and liver lesions are never a good thing. Bloodwork showed very low iron so she went for her first transfusion. With testing taking so very long and the pain unrelenting, she went to the E.R. Friday, March 3rd. By evening doctors knew exploratory surgery was needed but first another tranfusion. Surgery was scheduled for Monday, and the weekend was filled lots of sickness.

The days leading up to Monday we prayed so fervently. Prayers of faith for healing, for comfort, for help. The surgeon held nothing back when he came from surgery to tell us the severity of the cancer's spread and the prognosis. The oncologist would echo his sentiments, albeit in a more compassionate manner. Advanced Stage 4. The type would need aggressive chemo, and Mom's body was too weak for that.

Yesterday, one week after Mom checked into the hospital, we checked out and made our way to Hospice.  It all seems surreal to see how far knowledge has brought us in a week. I'd lie if I didn't admit that the grief has been so intense at times that it's knocked Dad and I flat out. Thankfully we both haven't crumbled at the same time.

But Mom...

It is the absolute truth that she has held her head high and stared this in the face with total peace. I've asked her constantly how she's doing, is she okay? And every time she gives her answer of total surrender to whatever God allows. For a year she's hurt and prayed for healing. That year of trial has given way to a surrendered heart. She will carry this cross and not bemoan it.

In this little hospice room she's been pouring out wisdom and the secrets to her superpower of peace. I'll be updating here with little nuggets and the latest with her health if you'd  like to keep tabs.

Also, I can't forget to say thank you to the countless families helping care for Jason and the kids back home so that I can be by Mom's side. We are so blessed by your generosity and friendship!!

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