Friday, November 4, 2011

Walking by Faith: Part 8

For many I've had the conversation across a phone line, in our school lobby, or across a table.  But the problem with this level of communication is that I cannot look across from where I sit or even make out one feature of your face.  So I request, we request, that you'd introduce yourself.  So we know as we share deep things from our heart with whom we've shared and who stands beside us in this faith walk waiting for our daughter of promise.

Since discovering the open door of India's new age requirement, God has graciously opened other doors too.  But in the midst of open doors, He continues to teach us the discipline always involved in adoption: waiting.  It's a process of aching, writhing, pouting, repenting and trusting.  Maybe we will learn in this process to skip the writhing and pouting and instead move immediately to trusting.  But these are lessons for us, and for me especially with my mother's heart.  We know God is good, all the time.  Belonging to him has taught us that we can always trust his heart.  The hard part is thriving in the present with him without begging for the promised future.

In May he told us to wait three more months.  So we waited, wrote, talked and decided to begin pursuing foster care.  But when we discovered our new eligibility in August everything stopped as we prayed.  We were uncertain of an agency to contact to ask questions.  But since God had revealed a specific child, we figured he would have to lead us to an agency.  A day after declaring that, He led.  The dream I had of our daughter included a long hallway unique with windows lining the right side and a door on the left.  Not until that day in August did I realize that a hallway at an orphan conference we attended looked just like the one from my dream.  God brought it to my mind and I immediately looked up the agencies from that conference, that were displayed in that very hall.  There among the list was an agency that had opened an India program during the summer while we were waiting.  And I sensed this was indeed the agency.  But Jason would surely be a harder one to convince.

I approached him late at night.  He was tired.  There was no way he'd want to hear about it this night.  But his eyes widened when I told him I had news and he too was impressed with the agency.  And then God showed us both special, personal things to sweetly confirm:  THIS IS THE ONE!

I could hardly contain my excitement.  The doors were opening.  This was happening!

When I sat to tell a friend about these new open doors, God completely interrupted my thoughts.  {He's most welcome to do that, for the record.}  But what he said perplexed me.  It was clear and almost visible:  Kolkata, India.  I stopped talking to my friend and sat silently to let the words sink in.  When she questioned why I'd stopped talking, I told her the truth.  "God just spoke to me."  I was shocked by her response.

To be continued tomorrow...


Kindel said...

Ugh...I'm on the edge of my seat!!! I can't wait to read more!!!! :)

The Frisk Five said...

We are definitely praying for you guys. This is so exciting. I love and long for God's voice constantly. It is so very emotional when He speaks to you directly. Please pray for us as well. Miss you guys.