Sunday, April 17, 2011

Sunday Night Live

It's a catch-22. {That's my phrase of the day.} The day of rest that finds me napping the afternoon away and not sleepy at 12 a.m. leaving me tired the day after. Ah, Sundays!

I've spent a good deal of time thinking, and reading, and baking, and wrangling a one-year-old and have decided the business of dying to oneself is a nasty one. To put the needs of others first, to not get sleep, to purpose to not always be the one at argument's end demanding the apology, to lay down frustrations with others and simply forgive. It's tough. And more, to lay down hopes of future timelines and simply live presently holding everything with open hands. I'm real bad at it. But fumbling along this journey of dying and living and living and dying, there is great beauty.

Today, Sunday, I wanted to shout from the rooftops in the church service. The freedom, oh the freedom, I am finding in God as my Father, my Savior and my life-giving Spirit. It's great to enjoy the sweetness. But sweetness must always be balanced with a hearty solid. Where it's missing a sugar overload and crash is soon to follow.

But the truth for me, and maybe for you, is that God's meat sometimes is really tough to swallow. I don't want to give up dreams. I want to cling with all my might and pout until I get them. Isn't my way best, after all?

Yet herein lies the most beautiful catch-22.

When we die to our desires giving way to God's and even go through painful agony in so doing, we emerge more deeply alive. And, I have found, greater satisfied. The mingling of sweet with salty and salty with sweet. Where would the living be apart from the dying?

Oh that you and I might choose to fully live.


1 “Come, all you who are thirsty,
come to the waters;
and you who have no money,
come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk
without money and without cost.
2 Why spend money on what is not bread,
and your labor on what does not satisfy?
Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good,
and you will delight in the richest of fare.
3 Give ear and come to me;
listen, that you may live.
I will make an everlasting covenant with you,
my faithful love promised to David.
4 See, I have made him a witness to the peoples,
a ruler and commander of the peoples.
5 Surely you will summon nations you know not,
and nations you do not know will come running to you,
because of the LORD your God,
the Holy One of Israel,
for he has endowed you with splendor.”
6 Seek the LORD while he may be found;
call on him while he is near.
7 Let the wicked forsake their ways
and the unrighteous their thoughts.
Let them turn to the LORD, and he will have mercy on them,
and to our God, for he will freely pardon.

8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the LORD.
9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
10 As the rain and the snow
come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
11 so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.
12 You will go out in joy
and be led forth in peace;
the mountains and hills
will burst into song before you,
and all the trees of the field
will clap their hands.
13 Instead of the thornbush will grow the juniper,
and instead of briers the myrtle will grow.
This will be for the LORD’s renown,
for an everlasting sign,
that will endure forever.”

Isaiah 55:1-13

2 comments:

The Frisk Five said...

This very much touched my heart when I read this this morning. This is a very real process happening in my life as well and the encouragement of reading it was welcomed. I really miss you guys.

sarah said...

Sorry, i just saw you commented! :)

Yes, same house church. :) We love that place! I asked them if you guys came and they confirmed. God is doing amazing things out of that place. We are having a Passover Seder on Thursday night if you guys are interested. It is at one of the HC member's houses. I am bringing our little one, she can sleep in one of the many rooms of the house. If you are interested shoot me an e-mail (sarahmudder@gmail.com). Also, it would be nice to catch up with you guys! I know you are super busy but we would love to hear about your work with children needing adoption. We are so there!

Love!

Sarah M