Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Ever since we shared the story of India and our little girl, we thought things would be silent for a long time as we waited, prayed and wondered. But in the time since we shared, things have not been quiet. Around Thanksgiving we thought we had found her then learned the little girl had a family in the process of adopting.

Since then bigger things seem to be happening which would bring us in direct contact with Indian orphanages. We appreciate you joining us in prayer as things begin to unfold in the coming weeks.

We will update as we can.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families. Psalm 68:5-6a

That was all a year and a half ago.

India requires parents to be 30. Jason just turned 27. The agencies we've looked at are temporarily closing their Indian adoptions.

Waiting is hard. Especially for an undefined time for a child of promise. Is this how Abraham felt when things looked so impossible and the promise came long before? When he was the only one who heard? Did he hear clearly? He must have wondered it. I hope he did because I have. Over and again.

But Hershey's Orphan Summit encouraged me that true faith is walking out what we believe even before we see it. That is the essence of faith, and that is why you are reading this post. Each post has been a step. I believe. We, Jason and I, believe. We invite you to believe with us as we wait and pray.

For her protection.

For her to know a family is waiting, wanting her.

And we are thankful that the time has not been completely silent. Often, in the mundane moments of life when my mind is caught up in mindless tasks, God whispers.


It's happened more than I can count. And often, when I am out, I see visible reminders. God has even given a name for her. A name, that turns out, is a very popular Indian name.

Today, I told Levi about his sister because, I believe. And I wait.

Thank you for waiting and believing with us.

The weeks and months that followed were incredible. I tried to believe it was just because India was in my head. Coincidences, I told myself. Like attending an International festival with the flag of India right in front of us as we walked up. Or like the conversation I was having with some girls when I looked up to see the flag of India hanging above us. Coincidences, you know.

But the “coincidences” turned into more.

I got a picture message at work one day of a man holding a little child. The child? Indian, it seemed. The man? The number? No clue, and he wouldn’t talk to me when I asked.

While reading my devotions, in Leviticus of all places, I distinctly thought I saw the word India. Now, I’m losing it, I thought. But India hadn’t even been on my mind that day. Then, again, it was as if India was written in the paragraph. But when I searched back through the letters, no India.

This was getting ridiculous. So I dismissed it.

Then, that night, something happened. Something more than thinking, more than coincidence and more than anything I could dismiss away.

{Up until this point you have been reading so excitedly.
These next words, I would think, might cause you
to question my sanity or at least my level of drama. But
remember with me that I serve the Creator of the Universe.
He’s incredible at writing stories.}

That night I picked up a book I was anxious to read: Fields of the Fatherless by Tom Davis. Between laundry and conversations, I soaked in the pages. It was about Russia and one man and life-change because of orphans.

I’d only made it two paragraphs in. The intro beckoned me to read more. But I wouldn’t be able to that night because something would stop me in my speed-reading tracks.

I had just read how the trip to Russia would forever change his life. Suddenly, in the clearest split second of my life, time stood still as five letters came up off of the page. Everything behind them blurred.

I n d i a

As quickly as they came, they went back into their assigned places. No, the word India wasn’t written on the page. God wrote it that night for me, and I gasped out loud when He did it. All I could manage was to stutter around to explain to Jason. How does one explain something so supernatural? Something only your eyes beheld? Something you know no one else could really believe unless they saw it themselves?

{To be concluded...or begun...tomorrow...}

Monday, November 15, 2010

I have trouble having confidence that I’ve heard God and not just myself. That was the case in 2009 and, really, still is the case most of the time.

Late one night I was awake reading a book about God speaking through visions and dreams. So discouraged with my inability to distinguish God’s voice, I begged God that night to help me. I begged for clarity. I begged for dreams. Actually, I asked for Him to speak to me in dreams, and I tacked on at the end of the prayer, “and please start tonight.” That last line started a more fervent time of prayer that ended with my utter assurance that God would give me a dream that very night. In that I was confident.

It was hard to go to sleep for the excitement. What would He say? I had specifically asked for a dream about the future, about kids, about adoption. Anything to give clarity to our future.

I woke around 3 a.m. No dream. After a trip to the bathroom and a walk back to bed I reminded God that there were several more hours of opportunity.

And then the dream came. One stripe of orange, one of white, one of green and one intricate circle in the middle. India. I’d rarely seen the flag before but that night in the dream it was as if I’d known it forever.

I supposed the dream meant we would adopt from there. All I knew was that my prayer had been answered. Answered with mystery but answered. I whispered prayers of sweet thankfulness.

Then, two weeks later another dream came. This time unsolicited and much clearer.

I stood in an orphanage that was on fire. Starring for an infinitely long time at a Greek Orthodox church in the distance, the workers asked me to stay with the children while the fire was controlled. As I stepped in the room, God called to me in the clearest voice:

“Look for her, she’s here.”

I just knew. No lack of confidence. No questioning if my voice or His. He meant a little Indian girl sat somewhere in that room. And she had been set apart for me. My eyes scanned the room. There were lots waiting. But I searched every face for her dark skin and beautiful brown eyes.

Then, as I stepped close to the door, I saw her. She was sitting with a child in her lap at what looked like an old cafeteria table. She had been looking at me the whole time waiting for me to lock eyes with her. Her hair was short and black and her face beautiful. But it was her eyes that I noted the most.

Her eyes said, “Finally, Mama. I’ve been waiting so long for you.” She was absolutely beaming.

And then as clearly as His voice spoke, I knew. She would be older than I ever thought we would adopt. She was seven or eight.

I stepped through the door, and I was awake.

The weeks and months that followed were incredible.

{To be continued tomorrow....}

Sunday, November 14, 2010

For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.
1 Corinthians 13:12

Walking by faith is a learned behavior. It doesn’t come naturally, at least in my experience. I’ve had more than my share of experiences to point me to trust God. When I was young I prayed for five little drowned kittens to come back to life. And one by one, they did. When I was struggling through the teen years, I prayed for a sign that, indeed, God could hear my whispered prayers. And my sign, minutes later, was a t-shirt worn by a grocery store clerk that read: “If you are looking for a sign from God, here it is.” A hand was signing I love you below those words.

And I have discovered in thirty years that





And just as mysteriously, He can hear my prayers even when they’re just whispers in my head. I’m baffled by it when I stop to think. But this beautiful mystery of prayer and power often has me apologizing to God for not valuing it more. After all I’ve seen. After all I know. My prayer-less-ness has to be a sin.

Jason and I have a pile of rocks in our bedroom. They are our visible reminders of the miracles we’ve personally seen God do as He “draws [us] to Himself.” The miracle of complete healing I experienced after eight years of sickness and medication. The miracle of us, Jason and Kelley. Because of the specific prayer I prayed one Valentine’s night, Jason’s life was different. “God, cause my future husband to get out of any bad relationships. Cause him to fall in love with you devoting himself fully before we meet.” That night, as I prayed, a 2 1/2 year relationship ended by phone for Jason. That summer God called him to full surrender and his senior year he grew and grew and loved God deeply. Then, we met. The awesome love of God who hears our whispers.

As I sit and think of these and COUNTLESS more, I am in awe of God and my faith swells. I see clearer through this “dark glass” and I trust more.

Yet after all I have seen, I still have trouble trusting at times. So as I sat at the orphan summit in Hershey, I was reminded of another prayer and another answer and another opportunity to walk by faith.

Let me begin in the Spring of 2009...

{Continued tomorrow...}

Thursday, November 11, 2010

For Now

There is much to say after our first flight with a baby, first orphan summit, first trip to Hershey and other details of life at home, but it's Thursday and this has been a hard, busy week. For now, here's a highlight from the day.

Friday, November 5, 2010

Beginning November

Somehow it's November 5th already and I'm sitting at the computer at 5 a.m. Our morning will be filled with plane rides (Levi's first) to take us to our very first orphan summit. Already this week I've sat overwhelmed by the needs of children as I visited a children's shelter Tuesday. More of that story next post as well as some tidying up around here (our blog) to welcome Fall officially. But for now, we're aiming to be dedicated tweeters of the event so keep visiting.

You can check out the event at the link to the left.

We'll see you soon with lots of things to share.